The details were entertaining, including candidates who:

• listed “God” as a reference (though without any phone number)
• sent a 24 page resume to detail a five year career
• included a personal email address “lovesbeer“
• listed “Master of Time and Universe” under his experience.
• insisted that any new employer allow him to bring his pet monkey to work

Coincidentally, the same day that I read the article in The Telegraph, I received an email from the CEO of a local technology company who forwarded what may be the single worst resume I’ve ever read. (click on the image to view in all its glory). The resume is reproduced exactly as it was received, with only names and phone numbers excised.

As appalling (and amusing) as this singular resume disaster is, job seekers can learn a number of valuable lessons from its mistakes.

1. Pick a font size and format and stay with it. It’s expected that your name at the top of the resume will be larger than the rest of your copy, but you should not mix font sizes and justification throughout the resume. It’s distracting, visually disorienting and unprofessional. And, for most resumes, 12 point copy should be large enough.
2. Have someone else proof your resume before sending it out. This resume has dozens of spelling, punctuation and grammatical errors that could have been corrected easily by an attentive proofreader. I know employers that will trash any resume that contains errors, believing that any job seeker who doesn’t pay attention to the details of their resume won’t pay attention to the details of their job.
3. Procure a professional email address. Who would have thought it necessary to admonish job seekers not to include email addresses like “bonglover@gmail.com” or “dazednconfused@aol.com” on their resumes? This is your personal billboard, folks. You don’t want to broadcast your personal peccadilloes or your weakest personal attributes, even if you mean them in jest. Assume that every prospective employer is devoid of any sense of humor and include a direct email address consisting of “yourname@site.com“. You can’t go wrong with that.
4. Lead with your qualifications. I’m not sure what resume genius first suggested to lead your resume with your personal objective, but it’s lousy advice. Employers aren’t interested in your personal goals, but in the value you can bring to their organization. What are your strengths? What specific qualifications do you possess? What value are you capable of demonstrating? If you want to grab their attention, you need to appeal to their wants, not yours.
5. Tell a story with each job listing. Employers don’t want to know what tasks you performed, they want to know what you accomplished. And they want to know that you are aware of the difference. There are no unimportant jobs. Every job contributes to the organization’s goals in some way. Do you understand how you contributed? Did you apply yourself with care and attention? Did you demonstrate your commitment and work ethic? Tell us how.

And one final thought… don’t just shotgun your resume out to dozens of prospective employers (as this worst resume candidate did) hoping that it will get attention from one of them. It makes you look desperate and incompetent and may get attention, but not in the way you intend.

Most resumes adopt similar formats, and virtually all are created in Microsoft Word, using its default fonts, so making your resume stand apart requires some creativity.

Since your job search is really just a personal marketing exercise, why not incorporate the latest trend in marketing technology – QR codes – directly in your resume?

What is a QR code?
A QR code is a square 2-D barcode that can be scanned by a smart phone’s camera that generates an immediate action. Based on the type of code it contains, it might direct the viewer to a website, display a custom text message, deliver a vCard or more.

How can I market myself with QR codes?
Although they’re huge in Japan, QR codes are fairly new here in the States so many people won’t understand what they are or won’t have a smart phone with a QR reader installed, which could limit their impact. However, in certain industries or for those job seekers pursuing specific technology or marketing related positions, incorporating a QR code in your resume can help you stand out from the crowd.

How to Create a QR Code
Creating your own QR code, or even multiple codes for different purposes, is incredibly easy. Simply visit the Kaywa or QRStuff websites, select the action you want to generate, enter your website address or custom text, and click generate. The websites will automatically generate your personal QR codes which you can download and insert into your resume file as an image.

Whoever reads your resume can use their smartphone to scan your QR code to see where it takes them. That’s when you can get creative.

Creative Ways to Use Personal QR Codes

1. LinkedIn page – direct the reader to your personal LinkedIn page to provide more detail and depth to your professional background. It would be best if you have a robust LinkedIn page, complete with blog links, social media feeds and recommendations.
2. YouTube video – link to a YouTube video page where they can view you describing your professional strengths and detailing the value you can bring to their organization.
3. vCard – although this might not be the best idea if you’re applying to a very large corporation through HR, it could work well if you’re submitting your resume directly to an identified hiring manager. Knowing that they will likely want to contact you directly at some point, you can have your QR code download a vCard with all of your contact information directly into their smartphone.
4. Blog page – if you have a professional blog, direct the reader to your page so they can read your posts and get a sense of how you think about industry issues and gauge how well you communicate.
5. Display a creative text message – The QR code can instruct the reader’s device to immediately display a text message on their screen. This is a perfect place to present your unique positioning statement, like: Tim Johnson is the person who will build lasting relationships with the people you want to do business with.
6. Custom landing page – create a custom landing page that highlights your professional strengths and direct the reader to your personal sales page.
7. Portfolio page – Showcase your work and direct the reader to an online portfolio of your best work. This is especially powerful for those candidates in design and marketing who can display visual examples of previous design efforts or marketing campaigns.

Even if the individuals reading your resume don’t know how to act on the QR code, including it on your resume can still position you as someone who is technically proficient, stays up to date on business trends and technology and is an early adopter of powerful and creative ideas.

I’d love to hear other creative ways that QR codes can be used. Comments are welcome.

The importance of the personal story was perfectly illustrated to me last week when I was approached by a friend asking for help in getting back in the job market. She had a resume and a LinkedIn profile – fulfilling the absolute minimum requirements for any job seeker – but had no idea how to jump start her search.

Initially, she wanted my help pursuing a senior development position with a local non-profit and asked for some help modifying her resume to make her more attractive to the organization’s director. However, a quick perusal of her resume convinced me that no amount of creative writing could transform her background in the hauling industry and real estate management into anything remotely appropriate for the opening she wanted to pursue.

Not wanting to dash her hopes upon the jagged rocks of reality, I sat down with her to discuss her previous work experience and asked her to recount some of her most distinctive, enjoyable and memorable moments from her previous jobs. Initially, she started to recount the tasks she performed in each of her previous positions, but I told her to put the resume aside and just tell me stories that stood out in her mind.

She described the day she was hired at the hauling company, interviewed in a dank interior office, lit by a single bulb and crammed from floor to ceiling with paper. Unopened envelopes, bills, unsent invoices, even checks, piled on every surface and jutting out of every cabinet and every drawer. The office resembled a scene from Hoarders and presented a challenge to my friend. She offered to get the entire office and business organized and running efficiently and was hired on the spot.

She then spent weeks opening every envelope, sorting payables from receivables, meeting with bankers to discuss how the company would work with the bank from that day forward, met with the accountant to clarify how the books should be kept, contacted all the clients to resolve billing issues and personally handled all client service calls. She took over the business and made it run. And she loved doing it. She faced a herculean task that would have driven me into one of the cluttered corners, whimpering in the fetal position and dove into the project headlong.

I love her story. And she had others. How she expanded their client base from 65 clients to over 3000 by herself. And how she handled all client service calls and built enduring relationships because her clients never called their hauling company, they called Paula. She became the face and voice of the company and turbocharged its growth.

Once I heard those stories, I didn’t care what accounting program she used, or how they processed payroll. I simply trusted that she could face a task – no matter how complex – dive in and get it done. And I appreciate it more because she excels at the things that I avoid. And I know dozens of business executives like me who desperately need someone who can organize their business and keep it running smoothly day to day. Is there a title for that? I don’t know. But I know there’s a story to tell that will let Paula put whatever title she wants on her business card.

So, what are your stories? The ones that are so memorable you still remember the tiniest details? They don’t have to be your greatest successes, either. Frequently they result in failures that taught you permanent lessons. As long as they continue to inspire you, they’ll inspire your listener. So jot them down. They’ll separate you from every other job seeker who focuses on their tasks without sharing the technicolor details of their real accomplishments.

The single most important document in your job search hasn’t changed in generations – it’s still your resume. But what has changed is the ability for even those unskilled in graphics design to create a resume that stands out visually, incorporates color and separates you from every other job seeker whose resume format simple blends into the stack.

In a highly competitive job market, you need to exploit every advantage that you can gain in the job search process. Ultimately, you want to be distinctive and memorable, and a creative resume design can provide you with a significant differentiator.

The Hiring Manager’s Perspective
Put yourself behind the hiring manager’s desk. They’ve got a position to fill and a stack of resumes to glance through to pick out a few candidates to invite in for an interview. Assuming that you have the minimum requirements specified, your goal is to have the hiring manager notice your resume, take the time to read about your skills and accomplishments and secure an invitation for an interview.

If the hiring manager has to sift through dozens (or potentially hundreds) of resumes, how can you increase your chances of being noticed? Create a noticeable resume.

Resume Inspiration
There’s a terrific site that collected 36 beautiful resumes that should inspire every job seeker. Most of the resumes on the page are from graphic designers – people who create beautiful and remarkable images for a living. And the resumes they create are different from every resume you’ve ever seen online or in any resume guidebook.

Take this resume sample, for example (click to enlarge). It’s the resume that we adopted as the model for our Job Search Experiment with Tim Krenn. The format is visually distinctive, incorporating blue section headers and a blue vertical separator that are subtle yet compelling.

If you don’t know how to select colors to blend into your resume, you might want to check out an online tool called Color Scheme Designer that will pick complementary colors or even an entire color palette for you.

This second resume (left, click to enlarge) also incorporates creative formatting and subtle elements of color along with a distinctive font selection to stand out from the crowd.

While the use of different fonts may help your resume stand out, you should never use more than two fonts and you should avoid fonts that are cartoonish or whimsical. Your choice of font should connote your professional competence and judgment, so select carefully.

Critical Edge
Every study of hiring manager behavior has demonstrated that they will spend only 15-30 seconds examining each resume. You have just a few seconds to make an impression and gain their attention. The creative application of formatting, font and color can help your resume stand apart from the crowd and give you a distinctive advantage in gaining an interview.

A copy of a letter da Vinci wrote (full text below. original at right: click to enlarge) to the Duke of Milan seeking a position as an armorer was recently made available and contains some universal truths that today’s resume writers can learn from, including:

1. focus on the needs of the employer. At the time that da Vinci wrote this letter, he was already an accomplished painter, sculptor, physician, musician and inventor. But daVinci didn’t focus his pitch on his artistic facility, but on his ability to create wondrous instruments of war – meeting the immediate needs of the Duke.
2. don’t tell your whole story, just enough to whet their appetite – notice that da Vinci didn’t include drawings or detailed descriptions of his war-waging creations. Instead he teased the Duke with descriptions of devices that could bridge streams, besiege fortresses, hurl mortars, destroy ships, tunnel under rivers, and protect chariots. At no point does da Vinci explain how he would accomplish any of these tasks, but the descriptions alone are enough to intrigue the Duke and secure an interview – exactly what your resume is intended to do.
3. describe what you can do, not just what you have done – da Vinci doesn’t just provide a laundry list of the projects that he’s completed, but describes how engaging da Vinci will benefit the Duke. The descriptions of endless means of offense and defense are nearly irresistable and provide the Duke with all the reason necessary to meet with da Vinci.
4. use language that engages the reader – my favorite line in the letter is his description of the mortars he can build that will “fling small stones almost resembling a storm; and with the smoke of these cause great terror to the enemy, to his great detriment and confusion.” He didn’t write that he could create a series of mortar assemblies capable of firing up to six projectiles per minute. Instead he used descriptive language that enabled the Duke to envision a storm of projectiles blackening the sky and instilling terror in his enemies. And what Duke wouldn’t want the power to unleash that firestorm?

Isn’t it time you revisited your own resume to incorporate some of da Vinci’s timeless tips of genius?

Full text of da Vinci’s letter:

Most Illustrious Lord, Having now sufficiently considered the specimens of all those who proclaim themselves skilled contrivers of instruments of war, and that the invention and operation of the said instruments are nothing different from those in common use: I shall endeavor, without prejudice to any one else, to explain myself to your Excellency, showing your Lordship my secret, and then offering them to your best pleasure and approbation to work with effect at opportune moments on all those things which, in part, shall be briefly noted below.

1. I have a sort of extremely light and strong bridges, adapted to be most easily carried, and with them you may pursue, and at any time flee from the enemy; and others, secure and indestructible by fire and battle, easy and convenient to lift and place. Also methods of burning and destroying those of the enemy.

2. I know how, when a place is besieged, to take the water out of the trenches, and make endless variety of bridges, and covered ways and ladders, and other machines pertaining to such expeditions.

3. If, by reason of the height of the banks, or the strength of the place and its position, it is impossible, when besieging a place, to avail oneself of the plan of bombardment, I have methods for destroying every rock or other fortress, even if it were founded on a rock, etc.

4. Again, I have kinds of mortars; most convenient and easy to carry; and with these I can fling small stones almost resembling a storm; and with the smoke of these cause great terror to the enemy, to his great detriment and confusion.

5. And if the fight should be at sea I have kinds of many machines most efficient for offense and defense; and vessels which will resist the attack of the largest guns and powder and fumes.

6. I have means by secret and tortuous mines and ways, made without noise, to reach a designated spot, even if it were needed to pass under a trench or a river.

7. I will make covered chariots, safe and unattackable, which, entering among the enemy with their artillery, there is no body of men so great but they would break them. And behind these, infantry could follow quite unhurt and without any hindrance.

8. In case of need I will make big guns, mortars, and light ordnance of fine and useful forms, out of the common type.

9. Where the operation of bombardment might fail, I would contrive catapults, mangonels, trabocchi, and other machines of marvellous efficacy and not in common use. And in short, according to the variety of cases, I can contrive various and endless means of offense and defense.

10. In times of peace I believe I can give perfect satisfaction and to the equal of any other in architecture and the composition of buildings public and private; and in guiding water from one place to another.

11. I can carry out sculpture in marble, bronze, or clay, and also I can do in painting whatever may be done, as well as any other, be he who he may.

Again, the bronze horse may be taken in hand, which is to be to the immortal glory and eternal honor of the prince your father of happy memory, and of the illustrious house of Sforza.

And if any of the above-named things seem to anyone to be impossible or not feasible, I am most ready to make the experiment in your park, or in whatever place may please your Excellency – to whom I comment myself with the utmost humility, etc.