The details were entertaining, including candidates who:

• listed “God” as a reference (though without any phone number)
• sent a 24 page resume to detail a five year career
• included a personal email address “lovesbeer“
• listed “Master of Time and Universe” under his experience.
• insisted that any new employer allow him to bring his pet monkey to work

Coincidentally, the same day that I read the article in The Telegraph, I received an email from the CEO of a local technology company who forwarded what may be the single worst resume I’ve ever read. (click on the image to view in all its glory). The resume is reproduced exactly as it was received, with only names and phone numbers excised.

As appalling (and amusing) as this singular resume disaster is, job seekers can learn a number of valuable lessons from its mistakes.

1. Pick a font size and format and stay with it. It’s expected that your name at the top of the resume will be larger than the rest of your copy, but you should not mix font sizes and justification throughout the resume. It’s distracting, visually disorienting and unprofessional. And, for most resumes, 12 point copy should be large enough.
2. Have someone else proof your resume before sending it out. This resume has dozens of spelling, punctuation and grammatical errors that could have been corrected easily by an attentive proofreader. I know employers that will trash any resume that contains errors, believing that any job seeker who doesn’t pay attention to the details of their resume won’t pay attention to the details of their job.
3. Procure a professional email address. Who would have thought it necessary to admonish job seekers not to include email addresses like “bonglover@gmail.com” or “dazednconfused@aol.com” on their resumes? This is your personal billboard, folks. You don’t want to broadcast your personal peccadilloes or your weakest personal attributes, even if you mean them in jest. Assume that every prospective employer is devoid of any sense of humor and include a direct email address consisting of “yourname@site.com“. You can’t go wrong with that.
4. Lead with your qualifications. I’m not sure what resume genius first suggested to lead your resume with your personal objective, but it’s lousy advice. Employers aren’t interested in your personal goals, but in the value you can bring to their organization. What are your strengths? What specific qualifications do you possess? What value are you capable of demonstrating? If you want to grab their attention, you need to appeal to their wants, not yours.
5. Tell a story with each job listing. Employers don’t want to know what tasks you performed, they want to know what you accomplished. And they want to know that you are aware of the difference. There are no unimportant jobs. Every job contributes to the organization’s goals in some way. Do you understand how you contributed? Did you apply yourself with care and attention? Did you demonstrate your commitment and work ethic? Tell us how.

And one final thought… don’t just shotgun your resume out to dozens of prospective employers (as this worst resume candidate did) hoping that it will get attention from one of them. It makes you look desperate and incompetent and may get attention, but not in the way you intend.

Control Your Contact
You don’t want to get hiring calls while you’re at your current job or while you’re making lunch for your kids. You need to be in a private area that allows you to focus on the conversation. In addition, you need your resume, your list of questions and a notepad in front of you to jot down important thoughts and details and you need to be prepared. Provide your prospective employers with a single number to reach you. Typically this is your mobile number. If you receive an unscheduled call, ask if you can call back when you’re available to speak privately or have them reschedule the call at a time when you can be prepared. Make sure you have a very professional voice mail message on your mobile phone and check your messages regularly. Return every call as soon as possible and if you end up in a phone tag situation, be persistent and proactive.

Focus
Only conduct interview calls when you are able to devote 100% focus to the call at hand. If you get a call while you’re in your car or out in a social situation, ask to reschedule the call. The hiring manager wants to conduct the best interview possible and will understand that you can’t focus on the interview if you’re distracted. They will be understanding and accommodating and will respect your desire to perform your best.

Practice Your Answers to the Tough Questions
You know exactly where your professional weaknesses are, and you should expect that they will be revealed during the interview. Do you have a lot of project experience but not much management experience? Are you competing with MBA’s when you only have an undergraduate degree? Did you move to four different companies in three years? Be especially prepared to discuss these difficult issues, and determine how you can position your weaknesses in the best possible light. Knowing how you are going to respond to tough questions makes them much less intimidating.

Google Yourself
Every job candidate should be aware of all the information that will be revealed about them during a public web search. Every employer I know conducts at least a quick Google search on every job applicant just to discover what’s out there, so make sure you conduct an Internet search on yourself to preempt any surprises. In this new age of social media dominance, you need to be aware that your social media activities will also be reviewed by many employers and recruiters. Expect your Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube and Twitter pages to be examined, and if you have anything on your sites that can be considered offensive or inappropriate, either remove the items or shield them behind privacy walls. Anything that remains public can and will be used against you during your job search.

Arm Yourself With Information
When you apply to a company, it’s incumbent upon you to learn something about that company. Knowledge is power. Read their entire website. Learn their company stories, how they were formed, what their mission statement reveals and familiarize yourself with the entire breadth of their products and services. Read their News Release page to see how they present themselves to the public and to determine how active they are in their industry. Then do a Goggle news search to see if they’ve been in the news for any reason, good or bad. When you’ve done your research, you can be assured that you will stand out among the crowd of applicants with your ability to speak informatively about the company and its activities.

Tell Stories
The single biggest drawback of resumes is their focus on titles, dates and responsibilities. But your real job consists of daily stories that demonstrate how you work with others, clarify the skills you bring to each project and explain how you achieved specific results. Facts are forgettable while stories are memorable. For each position that you’ve held, write down the three most compelling and illustrative stories that demonstrate your expertise, your commitment and your management style.

Engage in Conversation
An interview is a dialogue, not a monologue. Although the interviewer will typically control the conversation and ask most of the questions, you need to engage the interviewer during your responses. If you’re asked about specific technical qualifications, respond precisely then ask how your skills would fit in or fill a need with the employer. Your responses should be limited to two minutes before you ask your own question concerning how your talent and experience would fit in with the employer’s organization. This is an excellent time to determine if you fit into their organization and culture. If their management style revolves around a command and control dynamic but you excel in an open organization with a less formal management structure, then both you and they should discover this early in the search process. Ask questions and engage in a real conversation about life and work within their company.

Final Thought
When you answer your phone, and there’s an employer on the other end, you’re on. You have to be prepared to convey your professional strengths, relate the value you bring to an organization and express your enthusiasm for their company.  Think ahead about what you will say, how you will respond to difficult questions, and have your personal stories memorized that will demonstrate the skills and experience you offer. Use your resume as a guide but let the conversation extend to the employer’s current pain and problems that hiring you will alleviate. If you’ve prepared, you won’t be anxious and you’ll deliver the great first impression that will get you the face to face interview that you really want.

In Episode 9 of our real-life, real-time job search experiment with Cleveland sales executive Tim Krenn, we prepare for an interview with the CEO of a potential employer.

Tim’s success in developing his personal branding characteristics and his distinctive personal branding statement (I’m the guy who can build the relationships with the people you most want to do business with) accelerated his job search success and resulted in positive interviews with the sales and HR directors of a local technology company.

While Tim prepared for his initial interviews by reviewing our video series on The Toughest Interview Questions Tim’s next step – interviewing with the company’s CEO – offers some distinctive challenges that differ from the standard job interview.

1. The CEO is not making the hiring decision. Although the CEO runs the company, in most cases hiring decisions are ultimately left to the executive who will manage the new hire. The desired result after interviewing with the CEO is permission to hire you, not a mandate to hire you.
2. The CEO can veto your hire. While the CEO typically won’t make the hiring decision, a disappointing interview can result in the CEO’s refusal to hire you. The CEO always has veto authority if they don’t believe you have the right skill set, experience or personal characteristics to succeed within their organization.
3. The CEO’s priorities are different from the hiring manager. Your interview with the hiring manager will likely explore in great detail your previous experience and how you would transfer your talents to their company and help him succeed on a day to day basis. The CEO has entirely different priorities and is focused on organizational issues, not departmental issues. As a job seeker you need to understand the CEO’s priorities include growing the company, developing talent, reducing costs and maintaining organizational cohesion. Your responses should focus on the CEO’s needs and how your hire can help him reach his organizational goals.
4. Culture trumps talent. The most frequently underestimated aspect of the CEO interview is the importance of company culture to the CEO. Successful companies align their employees behind shared values that define how the company does business and how employees deal with each other. No matter how talented you are, if your personal and professional values don’t align with the company’s, neither of you will be successful. CEO’s understand the critical importance of company culture and need to be reassured that you embrace their priorities and values.
5. The CEO’s questions will differ from the hiring manager’s. The CEO will typically be less interested in all the specific details of your past and will explore broader themes dealing with your understanding of their industry and their company, your personal goals and aspirations and your personal characteristics that can provide value to their company. Although you should be ready to answer the typical job interview questions, you should be prepared to answer a lot more questions dealing with how you envision your future and your career progression with the organization.
6. There’s no more important first impression. The CEO is accustomed to making quick judgments and decisions, and he’ll be looking intently for indications of potential problems or lack of fit with his organization. Your first impression must match his expectations of professionalism, attention to detail and consideration. The little things can have enormous impact, so make sure that you’re dressed impeccably, your shoes are shined, you have a pen available in your pocket, you have a portfolio containing fresh copies of your resume and a notepad to take notes and you show enthusiasm for the company, its industry and your specific position.

You should be excited about the opportunity to interview with the CEO. Reaching this milestone means that everything you’ve done so far has been successful and the company is hoping that you clear this final hurdle. So do your research, prepare for the questions that the CEO is likely to ask, show your confidence and enthusiasm and get ready for the job offer.